Menopause Symptom Circus

Welcome, detectives of The Menopause Mafia, to another chaotic chapter of the Brain Fog Blog — your go-to headquarters for midlife humor, menopause realness, and hot-flash-fueled wisdom. Today, we’re investigating one of the most baffling women’s health mysteries of perimenopause and midlife: ✨ The Case of the Missing Low Libido  ✨ If your sex drive has recently packed its bags, ghosted you, and left no forwarding address, don’t panic.You ’re not alone.You’re hormonal...so gr

Hot flashes are dramatic. They’re theatrical. They’re chaotic. They’re unpredictable. They’re genuinely some of the most cinematic moments of menopause. And after experiencing approximately 4 million of them, I feel confident saying: My hot flashes deserve an award. Not sympathy. Not cooling towels. An actual AWARD. So let’s break down the official 7 stages of a hot flash — the scientifically inaccurate but emotionally correct way. Stage 1: “Is It Warm in Here?” — The Denial

Here’s the scene: I stumble into my bedroom at 2 a.m., face slick with the aftermath of yet another hot flash. I glance at my nightstand. If your nightstand looks like it could fill a prescription or host a pharmaceutical conference, welcome to the club. It’s no longer a simple lamp, a half-read novel, a candle, or a cute photo of your dog. Nope. It’s become a full-on menopausal pharmacy — a mini-lab of cooling sprays, magnesium tablets, hormone-friendly tea bags, and mood-sw

When Your Brain Hits “Buffering” Perimenopause and menopause aren’t shy about messing with your memory. Estrogen dips, hormones shuffle, and suddenly your sharp mind feels like dial-up internet. One second you’re firing off witty comebacks, the next you’re stuck mid-sentence wondering if you even speak English. And of course, it always happens at the worst possible time: In a meeting, right as it’s your turn to sound brilliant. On a Zoom call, where your blank stare gets scre

You know what’s fun? Bursting into flames in the middle of a meeting, a grocery aisle, or, God forbid, a polyester blouse. Hot flashes aren’t just inconvenient — they’re unpredictable. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m an unpaid pyrotechnics act. Perimenopause and menopause love to keep us guessing, and nothing screams “still got it” like glowing red, dripping sweat, and fanning yourself like it’s revival Sunday in a Southern church with no AC and three-hour sermons. The Huma

Hormones are the original gaslighters. One minute I’m laughing at TikToks, the next I’m crying because I watched a documentary about baby turtles trying to make it to the ocean, and five minutes later I’m ready to flip a table because someone dared to chew near me. If Disney made a ride called Perimenopause: The Experience , it would just be me screaming, sobbing, laughing, and then getting off to go find the closest DOLE Whip stand. Emotional Whiplash, Mafia-Style Mood swing

The Postgame Report: Morning After the Sweat Storm Waking up after a night sweat isn’t just unpleasant — it’s like discovering evidence of a crime you don’t remember committing.Your bed looks like a forensic scene.Your hair’s doing something found only in tropical climates.And your partner’s over there, cozy under the covers, blissfully unaware that you just survived your own private monsoon season. There’s that special moment when you think, “Maybe I should just sleep on a t

Remember when sex used to sound fun? Like, actual fun  — not something that required a nap, a chiropractor, and three glasses of wine first? Yeah, me too. Then menopause showed up, packed my libido in a suitcase, and shoved it into Witness Protection. I swear I’d have better luck tracking down Jimmy Hoffa. When “In the Mood” Becomes “In the Way” Here’s the thing: hormones crash, energy tanks, dryness shows up uninvited — and suddenly “sexy time” feels like someone just handed