Hot Flashes: Nature’s Way of Saying “Still Hot, Just Sweaty”

Misti Graham
Oct 2
2 min read

Updated: Oct 21

You know what’s fun? Bursting into flames in the middle of a meeting, a grocery aisle, or, God forbid, a polyester blouse. Hot flashes aren’t just inconvenient — they’re unpredictable. One minute I’m fine, the next I’m an unpaid pyrotechnics act.

Perimenopause and menopause love to keep us guessing, and nothing screams “still got it” like glowing red, dripping sweat, and fanning yourself like it’s revival Sunday in a Southern church with no AC and three-hour sermons.

The Human Space Heater

Hot flashes hit at the worst times:

On vacation, when the “tropical breeze” feels like Satan’s breath.
Mid–grocery store small talk, when someone says, “Cold today, huh?” and you consider assaulting them.
While getting a mammogram — because why not combine all forms of discomfort?

They call it “vasomotor instability.” Cute, right? I call it “proof I could power the entire Vegas strip.”

You’re Not Alone

About 80% of women get hot flashes during menopause. So if you feel like you’re combusting, congrats — you’re part of a very sweaty sisterhood. And as Clark W. Griswold in Christmas Vacation would say, "We’re all in this together."

Mafia Survival Tips

Keep a fan in your bag, car, and bra. No shame.
Layer clothing so you can strip faster than the girls at the local men's club.
Invest in sheets that wick sweat — or at least dry before your next hot flash hits.
Laugh about it. Sweating through life is better with sarcasm.

Why We Talk About This

Because hiding sweat stains works about as well as hiding your bowl of go-to snacks — it doesn’t. The Menopause Mafia is here to make the mess hilarious and remind you that “still hot” is now our battle cry.