Mood Swings: Because Rollercoasters Weren’t Dramatic Enough

Hormones are the original gaslighters. One minute I’m laughing at TikToks, the next I’m crying because I watched a documentary about baby turtles trying to make it to the ocean, and five minutes later I’m ready to flip a table because someone dared to chew near me. If Disney made a ride called Perimenopause: The Experience, it would just be me screaming, sobbing, laughing, and then getting off to go find the closest DOLE Whip stand.

Emotional Whiplash, Mafia-Style

Mood swings in menopause aren’t your average PMS dramatics. They’re full-blown productions with:

• Cry-acting: Sobbing over commercials with puppies, soup, or the big brother who comes home from college for Christmas to share a cup of Folgers with the family.

• Rage auditions: Your neighbor’s wind chimes: We get it, Carol, you’re whimsical.

• Joy cameos: Laughing so hard you pee, immediately followed by tears because…well, you peed.

Stats say 40–50% of women in menopause deal with mood swings, anxiety, or depression. Translation? Half of us are crying in the bathroom, the other half are crying in traffic — and all of us are wondering if mascara companies secretly invested in HRT.

Sh*t I’ve Said in a Mood Swing

• “Why does my phone autocorrect ‘duck’ when it knows damn well what I meant?”

• “If this Zoom meeting lasts one more minute, I’m faking my own death.”

• “If the car seat belt locks one more time while I’m leaning forward, I will cut a bitch.”

• “Why do I have 47 Tupperware lids and 13 bottoms and why do I keep saving Cool Whip containers like I’m running a catering business?!”

Mafia Survival Tips

• Name your moods. “Hurricane Holly” and “Cyclone Carol” sound way cooler than “irritable.”

• Set up mood disclaimers. Just text “do not speak to me” to your family and then go hide in your happy place.

• Cry, then laugh. Tears are free. Mascara is not. Balance accordingly.

• Don’t apologize. You’re hormonal, not unhinged (okay, maybe a little unhinged, but in a cute, charming way).

Why We’re Saying the Quiet Part Out Loud

Because pretending we’re not spiraling just makes us feel worse. The Menopause Mafia exists to laugh about it, normalize it, and remind you that you’re not “crazy.” You’re just living with hormones that have the personality of a reality TV villain.

Final Swing

Mood swings don’t make you weak — they make you unforgettable. If someone can’t handle your rollercoaster, just tell them to go buy a fast pass or get off the damn ride.

👉 Join the Mafia — because suffering in silence is outdated, but suffering together (with discounts, resources, and laughs) is revolutionary.

The Menopause Mafia...Serving hot flashes, hormones, and humor since 2025.